Dudes, what did the NAACP expect when they asked Bill Cosby to speak?  Man, he turned his back on black culture years ago with the Cosby show.  That show had nothing to do with black culture.  If you want to see real black culture you have to watch BET or the UPN.

I used to think Cosby was really a crusader.  I mean, I’ll admit I didn’t know that many black people when I was growing up.  So when I watched to Cosby show I started to think maybe black people were just like everyone else.  It wasn’t really until I started going to college that I found out how wrong I was. 

Once I got to college, the MCC and the BSU started explaining how black culture was unique and how it needed to be protected from the dominant white culture that was trying to destroy it.  Thank Goddess for the tenure system too man.  Some of my professors, whose jobs were protected for life, were able to explain to me that the reason we still need affirmative action is so that people from the black culture can come to college.  Without affirmative action, they explained, only sell outs like people I saw on The Cosby Show would be there.  That wouldn’t be real diversity. 

That made me wonder about Bill Cosby.  I mean, dude, if blacks really are different from whites – like the MCC, BSU, and some of my professors were telling me, why was Cosby trying to convince me otherwise.  Then he gave that speech last week, and it totally made sense.  He doesn’t even understand his own culture man.  It’s sad when you think about it. 

I don’t know if you dudes saw it, but it was bad.  Cosby was all talking about how people have to take personal responsibility, how kids need to learn how to speak "proper" English and how parents need to take an interest in their own kids’ educations.  What the fuck man?

Look man, if black people can’t make it in our capitalist system without selling out, there is something wrong with our capitalist system.  The solution isn’t to make them spend $200 on hooked on phonics instead of shoes.  The solution is to tax people in the dominant culture so that we can create programs to preserve our rich tapestry of diversity.  As the MCC, BSU and college professors point out, there are inherent differences between black and white cultures.  We need to preserve these differences not destroy them.

Nigel, dude, your British comrades are awesome.  That was so cool yesterday when someone hit Tony Blare with a paint bomb.  Not only was the picture hilarious, it was also a very effective protest.  As you know, effective protesting achieves two things.  First it calls attention to an issue.  Second, it sways people to your side.  Throwing a condom full powered paint was perfect.

I don’t know if you knew those guys or anything, but I doubt it.  Apparently, they were a couple of Dad’s who were upset about paternal rights.  Dude, that’s like a way obscure issue.  Man, that’s why their protest was so perfect.  Now the whole world knows about that issue.

I don’t know much about parental rights, man.  After seeing King Tony yesterday though, I’m totally convinced.  Here the thing man, when I first saw that, I figured it was an anti-war protest.  Heck I even thought it might be a chemical attack.  Then when I learned what it really was, I was like … dude!  Those guys must really feel strongly about that issue. 

When people don’t know about an issue, that’s the perfect response man.  If you can get people to equate your side with the anti-war movement or even terrorists, you know they’re taking you seriously.  Dude, here’s the thing.  Anyone who feels that strongly has got to have a point. 

Dudes, check this out.  http://www.smh.com.au/text/articles/2004/05/18/1084783511071.html  Now what do you say about socialized medicine? 

Alright Dudes, I really don’t want to even talk about this bullshit, but apparently the conservative media complex is going to keep bringing it up.  A couple chemical weapons were found in Iraq.  Big fucking deal!

Of course, the conservative media are falling over themselves talking about how this might prove that Saddam had WMD.  Man, this doesn’t prove anything.  These weapons could have come from anywhere.  What about the chemical weapons found on Al Quiada terrorists in Jordan man?  Everyone knows there are Al Quiada cells working in Iraq right now.  How do we know these chemical weapons didn’t come from the terrorists?  There’s absolutely no proof that these weapons came from Saddam and not from the Al Quiada cells working in Iraq.  Think about it man.  Fucking think about it!

I’ve been working at Bob’s record store for a while right?  I thought it would be cool man.  I mean working in a record store always looked cool in the movies.  It turned out to be not that cool though.  Unlike Empire Records, there are no hot chicks working with me, and unlike High Fidelity, my co-worker is a complete tool.  Also, man, that bastard Bob doesn’t pay shit.  I’m the one standing around all day, and Bob’s just paying golf and taking all the money.

So yesterday I got pretty fed up with this bull shit and decided to look for something else.  I’ve heard all the crap about how the job market is opening up, so I figured it wouldn’t be that hard.  Dude, was I ever wrong.

First of all, over half the jobs are for like 40 hours a week.  What the hell man?  If I worked 40 hours a week, how would I have time to protest man?  Dudes, as you know, my protesting is making this country a better place.  You’d think people would respect that.  Plus, it’s not like a need to work that much.  The only reason I don’t protest full time is because my fucking tight-assed trust officer makes me buy my own green.

The rest of the jobs are bull shit too man.  Most of them are customer service.  I thought that sounded cool because it would be a great opportunity to meet a lot of people and spread the word.  I called around though, and all these people would make me cut off my dreads.  Again, what the fuck? 

The whole system is designed to screw people.  Unless you are willing to work like all day everyday, there are no good jobs.  Then they all want you to conform to the white bread image.  This is America man!  We’re supposed to have freedom.  Don’t worry though dudes.  As usual, I’ve got the answer. 

First, we need a law that says a worker only has to work as much as he wants.  If you only want to work like 20 hours a week, your boss can’t make you work more.  Instead they can hire someone else to work the other 20 hours.  Think about it man.  That would totally cut down on unemployment too.

Second, there should be a law that says employers cannot discriminate based on style.  There are already laws protecting race, religion, gender and all sorts of other things.  If there was a similar law protecting style, then people would get used to seeing people with piercings and dreads.  If we forced employers to hire people like that, think about how free we would be.

Dudes, did you know that Americans spend like $220 million a year on internet porn?  That’s such a depressing figure.  What is it doing to our culture?  When I first heard that figure I was kind of turned on because I figured it meant we were winning the culture war against those tight-assed puritanical religious zealots who want to keep women down. 

Check this out man, for millennia women were revered in fertility based religions.  Now that we’ve had some freedom of religion for a while, these earth mother religions are coming back man.  That’s why the fucking conservatives hate porn so much.  The fuckers are afraid of losing their dominance over women. 

Obviously I’m too fucking smart to fall for the lies of mainstream religion.  I am way spiritual though man, so I’m totally into the ancient wisdom that the fucking zealots have been trying to suppress for so long.  With that in mind, I went on the internet to do a little fertility worshiping.

What I found was shocking.  All the so called “girl next door” pictures were nothing more than bourgeoisie propaganda.  I mean unless you live in the fucking suburbs, there’s no way these girls live next door.  Of course, I still did some worshiping, but I was so pissed afterwards because the capitalist machine that produces this shit was totally trying to force its corrupted vision on fertility symbols on me.

It all makes sense when you think about it though dude.  The capitalist pigs have been in bed with the conservatives for so long.  When people started looking into fertility worship, the capitalists had to supply the porn.  It’s not like those greedy bastards were going to miss the opportunity to make a buck.  But they are so conservative that they couldn’t resist forcing fake-ass preppy looking images on us.

Don’t worry though dudes, I have a great solution.  The national endowment for the arts should fund alternative porn.  Think about it man.  The puritan controlled capitalists are never going to produce fertility symbols glorifying progressive looking girls.  With all those people looking into fertility worship, think how popular a website featuring more earthy women would be.

Dudes, I just unearthed one of the biggest fucking conspiracies since Watergate.  It took me a while, but I finally figured it out.  The government is allowing the price of oil to climb so they can fool us man. 

Check this out.  The price of oil is like at an all time high right?  Well you would think that even though the President is like a big oil man, he would want the price to fall before the election right.  That’s why I couldn’t figure out why it’s staying so high.  I also couldn’t figure out why if we need to lower our dependence on foreign oil, we’re fighting a fucking war over foreign oil.

It all makes sense if you think about it though man.  Dude, the Bush/Cheney cartel is all about U.S. oil companies right?  So when they say “lower our dependence on foreign oil”, they’re not talking about consuming less man.  They’re talking about buying more from their buddies here. 

That’s what this whole deal in Iraq is really about.  See man, the Saudis want us to depend on their oil.  That’s why they try to keep the price low.  They know if the price gets too high, we’ll all think about looking elsewhere.  Bush’s cronies can’t have that though.  So they send the whole fucking army over to the middle-east to put the screws on the Saudis.  This whole war is just one big excuse to rise the price of oil. 

Still don’t think it makes sense man?  Check this out.  You know Bush wants nothing more than to drill for oil in ANWAR.  If Bush can get the oil flowing in Alaska, all his drinking buddies form Midland will make a shit load.  Thank god there are still a couple of reasonable people in congress who listen to the sierra club. 

Of course, most people are so corrupted by our capitalist culture of consumerism that if the price goes up high enough, they’ll all change their mind on ANWAR.  That’s why Bush is trying to keep the price of oil up man.  That’s why we’re really in Iraq man.  When he says stop dependence on foreign oil, he means drill for cheaper oil here.  Think about it man.  Fucking think about it!

Some of you have been asking how you can get involved.  Dudes, next time you see someone in an SUV, give them the bird.  If you’re really serious though, there are a number of things you can do. 

A good place to start is by going to a protest.  A great resource is http://www.protest.net/.  There’s a whole list of protests where you can get your feet wet.  Chances are, once you’ve been to one protest, you’re going to want to go to a lot more.

The cool thing about protests (aside from making a difference of course) is the fellowship.  Before you go to your first protest, you might want to learn some of the songs.  http://www.questia.com/popularSearches/protest_music.jsp.

Once you’ve got the hang of things, you might want to organize your own protest.  It’s easy.  Here’s a good resource.  http://www.brendoman.com/archives2/003132.html.

Dudes, did you see those patriots in the Senate hearing today?  It was awesome.  For those of you who missed it – I’d be surprised if the conservative media replays it too much – some protesters made it into the hearing where Rumsfeld was testifying.  Halfway through Rumsfeld’s statement, they started yelling at him and calling for him to step down.  Of course the high and mighty Senators called in security.  Apparently they haven’t read the 1^st Amendment. 

Check this out though man.  It’s a good thing those protesters made it in, because with out them no one would have said it like it is.  That hearing was a total joke.  The two most prominent Democrates were Joe Leiberman and Hillary Clinton.  Dude, those two both want to be President some day.  You think their going to take a tough stand?  Hell no.  They just wanted to look good for the cameras. 

That’s what’s wrong with our so-called “representative democracy”.  People are so worried about looking good that their afraid to take a stand.  That’s why the hearing today was a joke, and that’s why the 9-11 commission is so low profile now.  The fucking conservative media spins the coverage to make the commissions look bad, so now commissioners are afraid to even do their job.

Thank God there are still some brave Americans like those protesters who aren’t afraid to take a stand.  While the power hungry camera hams were busy saying how concerned THEY are and how THEY needed to do something, the protesters were the only ones actually pointing out who was really to blame.  Why the Democrats are too afraid to blame the administration is beyond me, but at least there were some protesters there to make liberals look good.

I just heard that the heads of Air America are being forced out.  Needless to say, I wasn’t able to hear about his on any of the conservative mainstream outlets.  They don’t want us to know this type of thing.  Instead I had to read it on the fucking internet.  I guess this should come as no surprise.  The conservative media complex can’t afford to have any opposition.  So of course, they are infiltrating Air America and forcing the visionaries out.

Check this out though man.  This can totally be seen as a good sign.  Why would the capitalists pigs be trying to force out the chairman and vice chairman of Air America if they weren’t being effective?  The radio station has been on the air for a like a month already.  They’ve already won a law suit that lets the keep buying air time in Chicago.  Dude, the message is getting out, and is scares the shit out of the capitalists.